Oh! How glorious it is to love

someone who loves you not.

The pain, heartache, and anguish that

makes you wish that you'd been shot!

The dirty looks, mumbled curses

that are the stalker's dearest gift.

Oh! And never forget the visits

from the police's late night shift.

Joy of joys, wonder of wonders,

imagine feeling the abounding hate

of he or she that you love the most

in that lovely, final quirk of fate.